We just passed the one year anniversary of my dad passing away. It’s still hard to think of a world without him in it.
I would text him randomly sometimes a funny joke or meme or send him an e-mail with a cool animal picture or video. He would reply and educate me on the animal and whether he’s ever seen one in real life before. He was always e-mailing me his trail camera videos or pictures – mostly of deer, but sometimes a squirrel or fox or something.
I’m grateful that this year I haven’t had anything mechanically break down because he was my go-to person for fixing anything. I would ask for advice on troubles with my car, lawn mower, snow blower, etc. It still feels weird to go over to my parents’ house and him not be there or coming home.
I miss my dad, but I also feel like I’m doing okay. I have a lot of great memories with him and am thankful that he got to meet my kids and see me get married before he passed.
We’re next approaching the one year anniversary of my son Alexander passing too. I’m trying not to think of that too much because it is so painful to believe. A whole year without my baby? Heart-wrenching. Impossible. Unbelievable. Wasn’t he just playing with his sister the other day? Wasn’t he just giving me hugs and snuggling with me to watch TV? It feels like it’s been a lifetime already but also just yesterday that he was here.
I miss everything about him and it hurts to know he isn’t getting to experience life and growing up with his sister. But I’m coping with his loss as best I can. Some days are more difficult than others, but I keep putting one foot in front of the other and waking up each day with him on my mind.
It’s too overwhelming to think of the rest of my life, how ever long that will be, without him with us. But we also have a lot of good memories with him and he knew he was loved and wanted and a part of our family. He will forever hold a piece of my heart with him.
